


When You are Set to Throw in Your Hand

by RosaF7



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 04:03:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3555362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosaF7/pseuds/RosaF7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michiru's gone, and Haruka is just holding on. Written for the HaruMichi Circle Same Prompt Fic in Oct 2014. Prompt: 'Consider who wakes up to find the other died in their sleep'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You are Set to Throw in Your Hand

**Author's Note:**

> The inspiration for the title is the song ‘Pick You Up’ by Australian band Powderfinger.

“HURRY UP!”

Rei paces the hallway, frustrated. It is just past 1 am. She should have gone to sleep hours ago. She should have been in bed, snuggled up with her arms tight around Usagi. But no, it was time for this all too frequent nightly ritual. This tedious yet necessary ritual.

“USAGI!!” Her voice bellows down the hallway but there’s no response. That woman, honestly. She still drove her nuts. Almost 6 years of friendship, and 2 years together, and she was still exactly the same. Rei makes her way upstairs, the loud thud of her heels against the floor a sure indicator of her mood.

All her anger flares into something else, though, when she sees the object of her ire lying flat on the bed, fanning herself with her hands, and red in the face. She’s by her side in a second, concern lacing her voice. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Usagi smiles tiredly. “I was getting ready and then I felt hot, it’s  _so_  hot, and I’m achy all over.”

“What do you think it is? Should we go to the hospital-?”

“No! It’s not that serious, Rei-chan.” Usagi reaches over and takes Rei’s hand. Her touch is always strangely calming, unlike the rest of her. “I just need to rest. I don’t think I can go tonight though.”

“I told you not to exert yourself! You have to be careful!”

“I  _was_  being careful! I just need to rest, that’s all. I’m hot, tired and achy. Mamo-chan said it was normal to be like this at this stage,” Usagi replies indignantly. Then she gives a weary sigh. “You’ll have to go by yourself tonight though.”

“I am  _not_  leaving you like this!”

“Rei-chan, I’ll be fine. You  _have_ to go pick her up.”

“ _No_. No, I am not leaving you like this. I’ll call someone, I’ll call Setsuna-san,” Rei shakes her head angrily. “You know I couldn’t leave you like this. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself, and Mamoru wouldn’t ever forgive me if anything-”

“Nothing will happen!” Usagi snaps, her face becoming redder. “See! Both of you already love the stupid brat more than me. When she’s born, you’ll both forget me. No one will love Usagi anymore. No Mamo-chan, no Rei-chan. Everyone loves Chibi-Usa more.”

Rei opens her mouth to snap back at her, but is just taken in by the beautiful little petulant look on her girlfriend’s face and the confounding ability she has to go from being utterly selfless to completely selfish. So, instead, she crawls closer to her love, and wraps her arms around her. Usagi snuggles in, albeit after some whinging about how Rei is an inferno, and how the air-con isn’t working properly, and why did Chibi-Usa have to take up so much space. Rei strokes her hair, and stops herself from responding, with a patience she’s cultivated for this very woman. As Usagi falls asleep, she thinks to get up, she  _needs_  to get up, but it’s just so nice and warm beside her. “Call her,” Usagi murmurs, and Rei moves in closer, feeling sleep lure her as well. “I will, I will,” She promises, but her eyes close moments after.

-

“Shutting in five!” He yells loudly, his voice booming across the pub. It was more out of habit than anything. There were only a few stragglers left, the regulars. They knew it was time to go, and in a few minutes they would file out reluctantly, bidding him goodnight as they stumbled out.

“One more…more for the road,” A familiar voice calls, raising a hand half-heartedly towards him.

“You’ve had enough,” He responds firmly. It’s not entirely because he cares. He  _does_  care, he  _was_  fond of the regulars but he wasn’t stupid. He knew there was no saving them. They were done with life, for whatever reason, and they would end it in a stupor. No, he knew that if he gave into every single demand for one more drink, he would be here all night. He wasn’t like them and he didn’t belong in their world. He needed to get home. He smiles fondly as he thinks of his boyfriend, who’d be tucked into bed by now, snoring lightly, probably taking up all the blankets too.

“Just one more!” The voice insists.

“Tenoh, you’ve had enough,” He says. He checks the clock. 1:57 am. “Who’s picking you up tonight?”

Looking at Haruka Tenoh, the swollen red nose, the bloodshot eyes, and most of all, the dead expression, you’d think she was exactly like the others. And she was, of course, in the most important of ways. But unlike the others, there were people who cared about her. A whole lot of them, too. Every night someone would come and drag her home. There were so many of them, but he watched them all, and remembered each one.  A quiet blue haired woman, who often came in with her partner- a tall, stocky brunette, who would more often than not pick Haruka up and carry her straight out as if she weighed nothing. A loud chatty blonde, who would talk non-stop all the way in and all the way out, regardless of whether or not Haruka was listening. An angry dark haired woman, her thick brows knotted, who would yell and pull Haruka out, dragging her if need be. The solitary male, a tired looking man who came in half the time in scrubs, smiled apologetically and patiently walked Haruka out. And, most frequently, a friendly blonde, Usagi, who had been the only one to introduce herself, and often came in early enough before closing to chat with him and Haruka.

And of course, the other one, the only one he really hated to see. A tall dark beautiful woman, who seemed to emanate sadness through her mere presence. She said nothing when she came in. She just looked at Haruka with those eyes, and Haruka would look away, ashamed, pushing her drink away roughly, before stumbling after her.

“No one.”

He scoffs at that. She always insisted no one was coming, yet they always did. “Come on, someone always comes.”

And it was true, they did. It had been a year since he’d been working here and every single shift, they came,  _someone_  came. It was as if they had a schedule. He’d never heard of friends that close before. It touched him a little. He didn’t know what Haruka had done to deserve that, but it eased him that she had people who cared for her.

“It’s –it’s time,” Haruka mumbles.

He continues swiping down the counters, there’s always so much cleaning to get done before he can leave.  

“It’s time!” She insists.

“Time to go,” He agrees.

“No! The Princess is to be born soon, and it’s time for a new generation. A new generation of Senshi.”

“Right.” That was the other thing. Haruka had some delusion that she and her friends were the Sailor Senshi and that there would one day be a moon kingdom or some nonsense, with that woman Usagi as the leader of the whole solar system. It was laughable really, but she took it so seriously and got so angry if he tried to question her that he had taken to humouring her. It was harmless, anyhow.

“We’ve been waiting you see…” She had a wistful look in her eye, and he knew this would be where the conversation turned. It did every night, eventually. “See…we would’ve too…”

He doesn’t say anything. He throws the rag over his shoulder, and starts to stack the last of the glasses for the dishwasher.

Haruka slams her hand down on the table. “It’s not fair,” She yells. “It’s NOT fair! It should’ve been glorious! She was a good solider….better……better than me! We should’ve gone together! Nobody could protect the Princess better than us! We would’ve given her everything! Everything! And died, we would’ve died together. Fuck they took her, they took her from me…!”

Her words slur into each other, she’s outright sobbing and there’s that look in her eyes. Almost a fierce determination.  The dead look is bad….but  _this_ …he gets scared for her on the days he sees this. “Haruka,” he says gently, momentarily ceasing his work.

She gives a loud sob, before burying her head in her hands. “In her fucking sleep, in her fucking sleep. Nothing fucking wrong with her. Nothing they could find. Nothing. Nothing. Just fucking……”

“Haruka,” he reaches out, to touch her shoulder, but she shrugs it off. It’s a pattern with them.

Normally the pattern would be broken now. Normally one of her friends would be here. It’s 2 am.  Instead, there’s no one and the last alcoholics have left the bar. It’s just the two of them.

“Is one of the girls coming?” He asks softly.

She shakes her head, “I told you, no one.”

“Let me call you a taxi then. I want to make sure you get home safely.”

She stands up then, angrily. “Don’t fucking patronise me,” She barks. Tears abruptly forgotten, she skulls the rest of her drink and begins a familiar rant about how everyone thinks she can’t look after herself. At the same time, she struggles into her jacket, and somehow unsteadily makes her way to the exit. Turning, she points at him.  “You. You and I…..,” She’s furious, but so inebriated that it is almost impossible to understand the words. “ _You_ ….think we’re friends….but don’t fucking baby me! You hear! Don’t fucking patronise me!”

“Haruka, let me call you a taxi-”

The door slams, and she’s gone. He sighs and closes his eyes, breathing out deeply. He can’t care. He just can’t. If he worried about all of them…..he’d have nothing left to give for his own life. She’d be back tomorrow.

And he had a hell of a lot of work to finish up before leaving.

-

She can’t sleep. She lies on her side, staring at the red numbers flashing in the dark. It is 2:30 am.

She forces herself to close her eyes. It would be fine. It always was. She was just a worrier. It was in her nature. It was nothing. It was always nothing.

Except that time, that time she’d never even been given the chance to worry, that time when…..that future she had completely failed to foresee. Since then, she has no longer trusted her abilities.

It still hurts. She misses her with a ferocity she didn’t think she had within her anymore. She’s been through so much, and yet, this small family, they had barged into her heart and given her hope when she should have known better. She sighs, trying to push the thoughts aside. She can’t help but glance at the clock again. 2:40 am. It doesn’t make sense. The bar closes at 2 am. Usagi and Rei were picking her up today. Sometimes it took a bit longer when Usagi was there, because she stopped to chat with any and every living soul but….but it shouldn’t have taken  _this_  long.

Setsuna pulls herself up and reaches for her phone, on the bedside table. She rings Usagi. It rings and rings and no one picks up. She tries Rei. It goes to voicemail. She tries to quell the rising panic in her stomach. It was probably something normal. Car breakdown. Maybe they took her back to their place. Maybe one of the others went to pick her up. She frowns, trying to think of their schedules. Minako was in Kyoto for a promotional tour. Ami was working at the hospital, late shift, and so was Mamoru. Makoto, possibly. But she doesn’t pick up either.

She takes a deep breath and scrolls through her phone for the last number she wants to try. She  _knows_  she won’t pick up, and she knows that this is what will send her from worry into outright panic. But she has to try. She’s running out of options. She closes her eyes, sends a prayer to the Gods,  _any_  Gods, and presses down.

It doesn’t even ring.

_The phone you are trying to call is switched off. If you would like to leave a message, please wait-_

She hangs up.

She’s pondering what to do, trying to keep the soaring panic at bay, when there’s a hesitant knock at her door. “Come in,” She says, her voice a little more shaky than she’d like.

There’s only one person it could be, of course. Hotaru opens the door slowly and looks up at her mother with her wide eyes. Setsuna resists the urge to look away and instead pats the space next to her. “Come up here.”

Hotaru is not human, not quite. She knows far more than is normal for her age. But she’s still a child, too. Setsuna wraps her arms around her and pulls her in close.

“Setsuna Mama, I couldn’t sleep.”

“It’s ok, sleep here with me tonight. We’ll fall asleep together,” She tries to keep her voice steady, she really does.

“Setsuna Mama,” Hotaru looks up to her, and Setsuna wills her not to ask.  _Please_  don’t ask. But she does anyway. “Where’s Papa? She’s late today. When is she coming home?”

Setsuna wishes, in that moment, that she could lie. Tell her anything. Tell her she was at Usagi’s. Tell her she was visiting an old friend.  _Anything_  really. This child she was holding, this child had been through so much. This child had outlived so many parents and deserved so much more,  _so_  much more from life.

She wishes she could lie, but Hotaru is no ordinary child and she is no ordinary woman. She knows how to evade questions too, better than most ….but…… today she has no answers, none.

No response that would alter the tragedy that she knows with growing certainty is true.

So she just looks into Hotaru’s big sad eyes, and pulls her ever closer.

They stay like that all night, keeping vigil, hoping against the odds.

-

 _She never does_. 

 


End file.
